16 December, 2007

So I'm auditioning for this show in January...the directors have asked for us to prepare a pop song...and the age of the character I'd be playing is about 17. Now, I don't own a vast array of pop teenager-y music but I had a little bit in the archives. I found a song that I feel encapsulates where I was at 17 and where I think most slightly naive, big dreaming, optimistic, bored, ready to go 17-year-olds are. It's kind of weird to not be that kid anymore...the one who has never gone through anything. I can jump right into a character who would say these words and feel these emotions because I was her at one point but I'm no longer her. Once you're on the other side of heartbreak, life experience, or tragedy even...you're not glad youre there. The pain is real. The confusion is real. And the reality that is as honest as a mirror shows you that you're way more imperfect, flawed, and vulnerable than you had thought or even hoped. But when you've never experienced anything that involves passion or adventure, you so desperately want to--and you're ready to count the cost. I'm not exactly back in that place again just yet. Maybe some day I will be. But here are the lyrics nonetheless:

Is it enough to love?
Is it enough to breathe?
Somebody rip my heart out
and leave me here to bleed
Is it enough to die?
Somebody save my life
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please
I'd rather be anything but ordinary please