24 June, 2008

Why Self-Awareness and Self-Analysis Are Good

Jesus said this and Matthew wrote it down.

" Do not judge, so that you won't be judged. For with the judgment you use, you will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. Why do you look at the speck in your brother's eye but don't notice the log in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and look, there's a log in your eye? Hypocrite! First take the log out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye. Don't give what is holy to dogs or toss your pearls before pigs, or they will trample them with their feet, turn, and tear you to pieces."

What I glean from this? In life, if I see an inconsistency in someone else or something off-putting or something that is disappointing or a decision that has reaped unfortunate consequences instead of pointing it out to the person who did it...I need to check myself and learn from it. I am only responsible for myself--the words I say, the choices I make. Life is too short to be remembered as the person who 'shamed' someone else.

21 June, 2008

11 June, 2008

Peter Pan Part 2

After 2 months of time, many a conversation, and what—14 comments? about Peter Pan I’ve decided to unpack some of my statements I made earlier. Some of them may have appeared sweeping, harsh, dense, and shallow. I’m aware of this. Trust me—you’ve made me aware of this.

When I say be “amazing” I don’t mean graduate and get a job that makes a lot of money.
One of the biggest misunderstandings of the Peter Pan blog was that money, success, and a white picket fence by 25 are THE things that I find attractive.

The point of the blog was to point out the seemingly common thread between a handful of guys in my life who primarily represent many, many characteristics I could want in a boyfriend/friend/inspirational speaker/husband. The one thing that they have in common is the extended adolescence that reflects in their choice to drag out college and avoid the scary thing that is adulthood and finding out if they'll be good at it or not. Now, of course, to each his own. If you want to graduate college at 31 that is your choice. But it’s also my prerogative to voice that I think it’s a better choice to finish undergrad education in a timely manner and move on to bigger and better. But it’s really truly not about a degree. It’s about some common fears that I see in guys in my generation.

The bottom line is that what attracts me to someone of the opposite sex is different at 23 than it was when I was 19.

If you seem to have a game plan, a dream for your life and you’re starting to make it happen I think it’s “amazing.”
When I was 19 I would’ve thought you were a wife-hunting crazy person who needed to relax.

If you care about politics and actually know how to defend your position on school vouchers I think that is “amazing.”
When I was 19 I thought apathy was cool and I would’ve thought your conversations about the deficit were boring.

If you have a personal and growing relationship with God where you are continually understanding deeper concepts about living out your faith I think that is “amazing.”
I would’ve thought that was amazing at 19. That one hasn’t changed. Hey!

If you've completed a post-high school degree program and are supporting yourself by using the skills and talents given to you by God and sharpened by an education I think that is "amazing."
When I was 19 I thought being 19 and living in the dorm was cool.

And if you have a life’s passion and are seeking to learn more about it, get better at it, or find some way to make a living by doing it I think that is “amazing.”
At 19 I only would’ve thought that was cool if it had to do with being emo, playing guitar, or being on Broadway. Now I think it’s cool no matter what you love. Finance? Sweet. Photography? Sick. Ebay? Do it to it.

I know in my own life I am far from perfect. FAR. I become increasingly aware of it on a daily basis. I’m grateful for grace and the fact that there is dignity in being human. One thing that helps keep my compass pointing north is the goal to be the kind of girl someone I find amazing would find amazing. So if you have any pointers throw them out. You owe it to me. I did it for you!

*And yes, if you think the word “amazing” is obscenely overused in this article I’ll agree with you.