We're Moving (and this time, only virtually!)

To the faithful few,

I've moved to a new blog address. This one is going into the archives. The new blog promises to be all that and MORE! How's that for no description at all? Please "follow" me over there! I have some surprises in store. I'm actually putting thought into it. Lots of love guys. It's been fun.

Hilary

OH YEAH. YOU NEED TO KNOW WHERE IT IS.


hilarysutton.blogspot.com

yay for a little something new!!! it is spring after all. :)
Please stop by and tell me whatcha think!

Every day is a winding road...

(*I wrote this entry last Friday but am just now getting to post it...)

I’m on my way to New York.

But not to audition. Not to do my independent I DO WHAT I WANT! Lemme at those dreams thing.

Mainly…

To see a boy!

I really didn’t know anyone could be so sweet. Or…would be so sweet. It’s crazy yall. He’s so communicative. So available. So open. So not self-protecting. He’s real with me. He gets me—and if there’s any part of me that he doesn’t “get” he wants to. He cares. And on top of all of that, I look up to him.

I LOOK UP TO HIM.

I LOOK UP TO HIM!

Do you know how often that has happened in my life?

Especially with anyone who’s attempted to date me?

I admire him. I want to be more like him. It’s incredible.

I never knew it could really be like this. I wanted it to be like this. But disappointments and reality checks came as early as 16. So do you get why I’m a little in shock that this is happening when I’m knocking on 26’s door?

Feelin pretty undeserving and lucky.

Since I was 18 here’s how it’s gone:

Nashville>Lynchburg>Colorado Springs>Lynchburg>Pigeon Forge>Lynchburg>Orlando>Roanoke>Nashville>New York>Nashville>Lynchburg>Wytheville>New York>Lynchburg.

And all those twisty winding roads led me right here.

So.

Wonder what kind of surprise might pop up on your winding road when you’re not expecting it. Better keep your eyes open and chin up…or you could miss it.

To Life!!! L'Chaim

As some of you know I've jumped on the IN THE HEIGHTS bandwagon a little late but no less passionately than all the others. In November I finally saw the show that won the Tony Award for Best Musical in 2008. I loved it so much I took my family to see it a month later. It has quickly become my favorite show. The creator and composer/lyricist Lin Manuel-Miranda grew up in Washington Heights (the part of Manhattan where I lived for 3 months this past fall/winter) and penned this beautiful musical about his beloved neighborhood. The story is particularly touching to me because it centers around an immigrant community and it hits close to home as my own maternal great-grandparents arrived on Ellis Island less than 100 years ago.

I found this video of Lin Manuel singing the song "To Life" from the musical FIDDLER ON THE ROOF at his own wedding this past September. It delights me because not only do I think he is awesome and the video is just delightful, but also because it is a song from my own culture!

If you need a little refresher on the original here ya go! (And with subtitles I fully expect you to be singing along):

Amusing Ourselves to Death (my first reaction)

"No clearer example of the difference between earlier and modern forms of public discourse can be found than in the contrast between the theological arguments of Jonathan Edwards and those of, say, Jerry Falwell, or Billy Graham, or Oral Roberts. The formidable content to Edwards' theology must inevitably engage the intellect; if there is such a content to the theology of the television evangelicals, they have not yet made it known." -Neil Postman, 1985 Amusing Ourselves to Death

Zing! 

I am loving this fascinating read that I am (ironically?) working through in my Mass Media Theory class (at the very university Dr. Falwell founded in 1971). My professor is a sharp Northwestern grad that encourages balanced dialogue and critical thinking. Mr. Postman's criticism of the Age of TV is still relevant but must be considered differently in light of the changes that have occurred in media. No longer are we simply recipients of 1-way communication. Now not only are we are constantly selecting (even down to advertisements thanks to DVR and Hulu) the media we'll take in but we are also responding back to it. With Twitter, conversation between "regular people" and "celebrities" occurs instantaneously. (This happened to me with Tony-winner and star of ABC's 'Private Practice' Audra McDonald.)  With Youtube's comment section all voices are made equal. The question our professor has challenged us with as we are reading Postman's book is: Given that virtually all media have some form of consumer/end user input to the communication system; does this affect Postman's conclusions?

With the advent of new media, lectures have become conversations and mindless agreement has been replaced by brazen honesty. What are the next steps in this process of reshaping media? I don't have a prediction yet. However, I'm excited to continue reading a book for a class that absolutely relates to my life. And they said grad school was impractical. Pssh.

What I'm doing in grad school

When I first heard the words "face" and "book" paired together I was a sophomore in college. I was 19. 4 years after 9-11. Midway through the Bush years. Coldplay, The O.C., and Napoleon Dynamite were all quite culturally relevant. In those days Facebook was only available to college students. We used it to keep in touch over the summer, flirt, and entertain ourselves when we were supposed to be listening to lectures. It acted as an online presence representing the social experience that was happening in college towns across the country. We were wary at first but quickly decided Facebook was great and Myspace was obsolete.

That was 6 years ago.

Now I can count on my hands the number of people I know who don't have a Facebook account. It is a prime form of keeping in touch, self-expression, and the exchange of ideas. My uncle calls it "town square." My mom uses it to reconnect with people she hasn't seen in 30 years. My 13-year-old cousin uses it to display inside jokes with friends. My sister uses it to keep up with former classmates in the States while she lives abroad.

My question is: What is this platform of communication doing to us? Our psyche? Our attention span? Our manners? Our compassion? Our listening skills? Our ability to multitask? Our productivity? My guess is: a lot.

So I'm in grad school studying it. And when I figure it out, I'll let you know. :-)

Words of Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

"We are now faced with the fact, my friends, that tomorrow is today.  We are confronted with the fierce urgency of now.  In this unfolding conundrum of life and history, there is such a thing as being too late. Procrastination is still the thief of time.  Life often leaves us standing bare, naked, and dejected with a lost opportunity.  The tide in the affairs of men does not remain at flood -- it ebbs. We may cry out desperately for time to pause in her passage, but time is adamant to every plea and rushes on.  Over the bleached bones and jumbled residues of numerous civilizations are written the pathetic words, 'Too late.'"

-- Rev. Martin Luther King, Jr., April 4, 1967

I'm starting grad school today! More later...

that (2010) and this (2011)

I’m blessed.

I’m blessed for a lot of reasons.

One reason is that I’ve only ever felt depressed once in life. And I’m pretty sure it was directly correlated to some medicine I was taking. Other than that unless I’m going through a breakup or some other really sad experience I wake up every day feeling glad to be awake. I know that some people don’t experience that. So I’m grateful that I’m generally happy.

I’m also blessed because I have options. I could stay in New York and pursue a career in acting. I could pursue a career in writing. I could go to grad school. I could return to Lynchburg where I’m within a 20-minute drive to a host of people I love. I could venture out to California or Austin or Seattle or Edinburgh or….

I’m blessed that God’s given me a variety of options and a constitution to be happy walking down a number of different paths. (Oh that yellow wood with its diverging courses…)

Sometimes it frustrates me that I don’t know exactly this one specific course I want in life. It makes me feel like a failure to not pursue one specific thing because then I don’t have a tangible accomplishment. But I’m reminded that the point of all this is the journey not the destination. And life is a marathon not a sprint.

I’m impulsive. I thrive on change. Ironically that thriving only occurs when I’m the catalyst and doesn’t when it wasn’t my idea. If it’s a matter I can’t control I don’t much care for it.

2010 brought some really high highs in my life. There were only a couple of really sucky points. There was way more good than bad. And a lot more exciting than dull. And a lot more meaningful than forgettable. There’s nothing more sad to me than when I look back on a season and can’t really remember what happened. It’s as if it never existed. 2010 was definitely not that. Tons of memories are etched in my mind's eye.

As the year changes over to the next I’m reminded of the brevity of it all…of what I actually hold dear…and who I want to be in 2011. I want to be someone who trusts God more, someone who holds on to faith when I feel forgotten. Someone who is more giving: in time, grace, love and sacrifice. I want to be someone who practices prudence and considers consequences.

I want to be someone who would inspire me.

Here’s to making it one better than the last.

Words of 2010

Throughout the course of 2010 I have collected passages from various writers that have inspired me, resonated with me, provided solace to me, taught me something, or reminded me of truth that I had known for a long time. This post contains all of them in the chronological order in which I found them. Overall I think this has been the best year of my life.

“When one door closes another opens; but we often look so long and regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” –Alexander Graham Bell

"If you were planning a career in dentistry, archeology, or accounting instead of performing, you would not be at all surprised to learn that establishing yourself requires the mastery of specific skills, as well as the investment of serious amounts of time and dollars. Yet show business, more than any other field of endeavor, is so loaded with legends of success achieved by accident, with tales of plucky but enthusiastic amateurs winning out over seasoned professionals, that it is frequently perceived as a fantasy playground even by those who make their living in it.
Every dramatic form has glorified the waif who gets off the bus in Los Angeles or New York with little more than a knapsack, a pair of tap shoes, and a load of moxie. She then collides with the powerful producer, celebrity, or agent who, struck by her artless quality, declares, 'You're what this tired old town needs,' makes a few phone calls and, in minutes, transforms her into a superstar. Doesn't that sound like the plot of a movie you've seen a couple of times? It's a wonderful story. Let's hope you can audition for the lead when they cast the next remake. In the meantime, let's not confuse that myth with reality." –How to be a Working Actor by Mari Lyn Henry & Lynne Rogers

"We write to expose the unexposed. If there is one door in the castle you have been told not to go through, you must. Otherwise, you'll just be rearranging furniture in rooms you've already been in. Most human beings are dedicated to keeping that one door shut. But the writer's job is to see what's behind it, to see the unspeakable stuff, and to turn the unspeakable into words--not just into any words but if we can, into rhythm and blues." -Anne Lamott

“Your favorite memories, most important moments in your life-were you alone?”
“No I guess not.”
“Life’s better with company. It needs a co-pilot.”
 --Up In the Air

“As believers we cannot always know why, but we can always know why we trust God who knows why, and that makes all the difference.” –Os Guinness 

“Just once, perhaps…listen to your heart. Sometimes the heart should do things without the brain’s permission.” –Connie Vorderman

“May He give you what your heart desires and fulfill your whole purpose.” –Psalm 20:4

“I still believe in summer days. The seasons always change. And life will find a way.”  -Winter Song Sara Bareilles & Ingrid Michaelson

“I look to the hills from whence cometh my Help.” Psalm 121

"Let your boat of life be light-packed with only what you need:
a homely home & simple pleasures,
someone to love & someone to love you,
a cat, a dog & a pipe or two,
enough to eat & to wear
& a little more than enough to drink
for thirst is a dangerous thing."
-Jerome Klapka Jerome

“Quality is never an accident; it is always the result of high intention, sincere effort, intelligent direction and skillful execution; it represents the wise choice of many alternatives.” –William A. Foster

“There is an art of which every man should be a master—the art of reflection. If you are not a thinking man, to what purpose are you a man at all?” –William Hart Coleridge

“Every wise woman builds her house, but a foolish one tears it down with her own hands.” Proverbs 14:1

“If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies; unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears.” –Glenn Clark

“If you want trust, trust others. If you want respect, respect others. If you want help, help others. If you want love and peace in your life, give them away. If you want great friends, be one. That’s how it works.” –Dan Zadra

“Live in the sunshine. Swim in the sea. Drink the wild air.” –Ralph Waldo Emerson

“I got the sun in the mornin’ and the moon at night.” –Annie Get Your Gun

“There can be no happiness if the things we believe in are different than the things we do.” –Freya Stark

“Tell me where’s the challenge if you never try?” –Jason Robert Brown

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” –Henry David Thoreau

“The cure for anything is salt water – sweat, tears, or the sea.” –Isak Dinesen

“I think everybody should get rich and famous and do everything they ever dreamed of so they can see that it’s not the answer.” –Jim Carrey

“Boy, those French. They have a different word for everything.” –Steve Martin

“Be joyful always. Pray continually. Give thanks in all circumstances.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you.” John 14:27a

"You only live once, but if you work it right, once is enough." -Joe E. Lewis

"We need mavericks and dreamers and dissenters far more than we need junior vice presidents, but we paralyze them by insisting that every step be a step up to the next rung of the ladder. Yet often the only way for boys and girls to find their proper road is to take a hundred side trips, poking out in different directions, faltering, pulling back and starting again.
'But what if we fail?' they ask, whispering the dreaded word across the generation gap to their parents, back in the Establishment. The parents whisper back, 'Don't!'
What they should say is: 'Don't be afraid to fail.' Failure isn't the end of the world. Countless people have had a bout of failure and come out stronger as a result. Many have even come out famous. History is strewn with eminent dropouts, loners who followed their own trail, not worrying about its unexpected twists and turns because they had faith in their own sense of direction. To read their biographies is exhilarating, not only because they beat the system but because their system was better than the one they beat." –William Zinnser

I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine. ~Caskie Stinnett

“Life has got to be lived. That’s all there is to it.” –Eleanor Roosevelt

“How different people are. Some people ski solo to the north pole – while some have to summon all their courage to cross a restaurant floor.” –Elling

Write it on your heart that every day is the best day of the year. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

“They suffer from stagnation of the brain & that surely produces stagnation of the soul in time. To feel and think and learn-learn always; surely that is being alive and young in the real sense. And most people seem to want to stagnate when they reach middle age. I hope I shall not become so, resenting ideas that are not my ideas and seeing the world with all its changes and growth as a series of congealed formulas.” –Freya Stark

"There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born here, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size and its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something.
...Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness; natives give it solidity and continuity; but the settlers give it passion. "—    E.B. White

Paciencia y Fe. –Lin Manuel Miranda

This is my winter song to you...

I spent 1/3 of this year performing at a dinner theatre and living in an air-condition-less ranch style house with 12 (sometimes more) other people. It was one of the most wonderful segments of my adult life. :-) During that time I got to produce meaningful art and grow friendships with people who I now hold dear. One thing that drew us together was our love of acoustic music and harmonizing. We loved singing a cover of "Winter Song" by Sara Bareilles and Ingrid Michaelson (2 of my absolute faaaavorites). One random June day Erin's friend 'Smitty' came to town to visit. Smitty is a sound engineer and happened to have recording equipment in the trunk of his SUV. He set up shop in our living room and we recorded 'Winter Song.' 6 months later we got it back. It's bare bones--my guitar was the only instrument. Kim, Selah and Millie added on to the end for a lovely, ethereal chorus. Click here then click on 'Winter Song' to download it. I hope you enjoy. Happy Winter, Hanukkah, Christmas and New Year. Be blessed.

I still believe in summer days. The seasons always change and life will find a way. 

Loving:

Discounts, Free Stuff & Perks from Work
Right now I have a collection of these from juggling multiple jobs. But I love it! 50% off at a restaurant, 40% off at my favorite clothing store & free musicals galore? Yep. Loves it.

Maps, Geography & the Grid
I love globes. I love to know precise truth. And what truth is more precise than actual locations? I love telling a friend to meet me on the southwest corner of 49th & 8th and he or she knowing exactly where to meet me. Atlases make me happy.

Kids--especially the 5 & under variety.
While they seem to carry a propensity for spreading the common cold, these people in their first years of language skills say the most hilarious and thoroughly unexpected things. I'm noticing them more often here in the city...maybe because parents are getting them out to go visit Santa or to all these holiday events I have to go to for work...Also, when Disney movies are released I'm reminded again how much I look forward to having kiddos--espeeeecially little girls.

A day off of work now & again
This past week I experienced my first entire day off of work in 6 and 1/2 weeks. I slept in, had brunch with friends, went to church and had a relaxed evening. It prepared me for a wild and busy week and I think there is much truth to the common understanding that we humans need weekends. Mmmhmm.

The Christmas Spirit

Between the inflation of the Macy's Parade balloons, the beautiful windows on 5th Avenue, and the tree lighting in Rockefeller Center in addition to the smattering of holiday decorations and Christmas music I am in the throes of Christmas cheer here in the Big Apple and it is soooo charming. See? 

"There are roughly three New Yorks. There is, first, the New York of the man or woman who was born here, who takes the city for granted and accepts its size and its turbulence as natural and inevitable. Second, there is the New York of the commuter — the city that is devoured by locusts each day and spat out each night. Third, there is the New York of the person who was born somewhere else and came to New York in quest of something.
...Commuters give the city its tidal restlessness; natives give it solidity and continuity; but the settlers give it passion. "
 

— E.B. White

genius: (n.) a man of endless invention

Tonight I slipped into seat 18 row AA in the balcony at the Skirball Center on NYU's campus and eavesdropped on a conversation between two of the most important voices in musical theatre. Tony Kushner, perhaps best known for Angels in America and Caroline or Change played the role of journalist to Stephen Sondheim's (West Side Story, Sweeney Todd, Gypsy, Company, etc) gracious legend.

The following are a collection of quotes from the evening. I only wish I brought a tape recorder.

When asked his thoughts regarding the connection between himself and his characters Sondheim said "When people think you are your work you become a cliche."
Speaking of his characters: "They are creatures that have nothing and everything to do with me."

Sondheim pointed out that the greats of the generation before him (Porter, Hart) revealed themselves through their music. It wasn't until after Rodgers and Hammerstein's Oklahoma! that lyricists were required to write music based on a story.


Regarding show material: "It's never occurred to me to write about a subject. I write about a story."


In discussing West Side Story Sondheim said that he and Jerome Robbins discussed the feeling and intensity needed for Anita's song and then "I just went home and wrote it."(By "it" he meant "A Boy Like That.")


Regarding "Rose's Turn" from Gypsy Sondheim in a fascinating turn discussed Jerry Robbins' initial concept for a ballet. Rose was to relive all the hardships of the past and struggles throughout the show up until that point. But, in large part decided by the talents of their leading lady, Sondheim and Robbins decided to pen "Rose's Turn" instead. Sondheim described to the audience Ethel Merman's response (complete with an impression of the diva): "Sounds more like an aria than a song!" He went on to say of Merman his inner monologue at the time: "She has no idea what she's doing and does it great."


Sondheim defines genius as "a man of endless invention" and gives that title to only one man he's known in his life: Jerry Robbins. Sondheim discussed the "games parties" he used to host. (Can you imagine?) He said that Robbins would invent games on the spot. One such game involved the party goers sitting in a circle and Robbins making sounds behind them (the click of a lighter or an umbrella opening) and guests would try to identify the noise. "Jerry was listening to things we heard but never noticed." Genius.


In a hilarious recount of the 80th birthday special Kushner compared Mr. Sondheim to Christ "complete with an ascension." (Kushner's sense of humor and low-key demeanor strikingly reminded me of an older Michael Cera.) Sondheim said "but Christ didn't openly sob in public."


Regarding his modesty Sondheim said "I know how good I am and I know what my flaws are."


When asked whether he goes where the music takes him or has an end goal with each song Sondheim said "a lyric is such a short form that you better know where you're going."


"Rhyme helps to prevent you from being trivial...It's about focus."
"Lyrics have to convey on first hearing what is going on."
"Lyrics must be surprising but not so dense they can't follow it."


Kushner then discussed Merrily We Roll Along and the role of politics in Sondheim's work. When asked whether he was optimistic about the future Sondheim said "I do believe in the goodness of man but I don't know that good always triumphs. But goodness does."


Rocco Landesman, the chairman of the National Endowment for the Arts then joined the conversation and asked Sondheim about his role as teacher. He noted that in Sondheim's new book Finishing the Hat he had a very pedagogical tone. "My life has been saved through teachers. It is the sacred profession." "Art is a form of teaching. That's why I'm so pleased to be an artist."

Sondheim proved further inspiring as he went on: "Art is conveying something about humanity...it [should] enlighten." Kushner expressed that in his view art is not necessarily teaching. Sometimes it is meant to "confuse them," he said in a joking tone.

The final topic asked of Sondheim to discuss was his view on critics--a timely topic given the painful reviews hurled at Spider-man after its first preview last night. "Critics have a stewardship to this vulnerable art form. It's not just about being honest about your opinion but knowing your role in the art form." Sondheim pointed out that without the luxury of advertising dollars critics have the power to see a show sink or swim. He expressed his delight that critics can't kill a book (speaking of Finishing the Hat) but they certainly have killed plays.

At the conclusion of the discussion the Public announced that Alec Baldwin will be hosting the next Public Forum on Tuesday December 14 entitled "Afghanistan After America".

some different things I've been thinking about this week...in no particular order.

-A positive mindset is so important.

-When I meet someone extremely immature or reckless in New York it boggles my mind as to how they get by. You really can’t be a child flailing through this city and survive. You just can’t.

-Speaking of children—I’m making a pact to myself to stop dating them. (*I mean “children” in the figurative sense)

-The “best” art is that which highlights the human spirit…that characteristic that is in each of us, across the board no matter our opinions, gender, religion, sexual preference or race. That moment of astonished resonation in which you say “What? You too?!” One common theme I notice in art I like is this: Pursuing dreams is important. And I think we all have this pang within us to achieve goals. But more basic, more foundational is the need for love and relationships with others. We need community. We need to need and be needed.

-New York really does attract a certain kind of person. There’s something fearless about a New Yorker. But something sort of masochistic as well….

-I’m reminded through my work here that I don’t ever want a job where I deal directly with the raising of money or selling a product. These are not things I enjoy. They take the air out of my tires, the wind out of my sails if you will.

-Is there a chartable change that happens within friendships when you hit 25? Some of my oldest/closest friends have disappeared on me lately and I wonder what has changed that was the same a year or two ago…it’s not like we were in college then…but maybe people are more over their college memories by now? Do some of us live in the past for those first few years after college and then we get to a point where we just move on?

-I am fascinated by the implications of social networking. I can’t help but wonder how it has and is affecting us as a society. This fascinates me so much I may study it in graduate school.

-I have felt so spoiled getting to see (on average) 2 Broadway shows every week (usually) for free. The word “delight” comes to mind.

-I feel inspired to write. I saw a play reading on Friday about writers and I just feel inspired to write. I felt inspired before that too. I don’t have a specifically magical idea but I think that whole concept of sitting down at your desk until words come…I think there’s major truth in that. I like to write essays…I’ve written some monologues, lots of lyrics, some songs, and blogs (clearly) but I kind of want to write a story or a play. Hmm. Perhaps I’ll pencil in some sitting at my desk time (the figurative desk).

-Also, I’m reading Freya Stark’s biography and it’s deliciously written and so intriguing. It’s about this British girl who ended up being a travel writer in the Middle East in the early 20th century. Kind of unheard of right? Well a person who does that with her life has a unique set of circumstances that sets her up for doing such interesting work. I’m still only at the beginning of her life in the book but she has already gone through sorrowful heartbreak (her fiancé marries someone else) and a painful separation of her parents. In addition she has a passion for reading and writing from her earliest days and by the age of 25 she is fluent in 5 languages. I haven’t even gotten to the part where she goes to the Middle East! But I did underline a beautiful passage Freya wrote (I’m assuming after the aforementioned heartbreak):

“No crime short of murder can be comparable to the crime of destroying in another the capacity to love: and this happens sometimes through the rashness of parents, or the sight of misery in adolescence, but more often through some bitterness of experience when youth is defenseless…and wounds leave a scar difficult to heal.”


That’s all for now. There’s a glimpse into how many different random thoughts I have swirling through my mind at any given moment…oh also,

I’M SO EXCITED THANKSGIVING IS THIS WEEK!!!

As they say...wah wahhhhh.

What a learning experience.

The first Broadway show I'm working on (as a street team and TKTS booth promoter) is ending its run a month early.

I've been bummed when other Bway shows have closed but they haven't exactly hit this close to home.

So if you hear about any work 'round here hollar! Thaaaanks!

I think a lot of actors are awful human beings. But...this nonetheless rings true...

"I think that perhaps the people who call us neurotic or vain or exhibitionistic are unaware how many talented actors are that way only because they are without work opportunities, and therefore release their need for expression in alcohol or unreasonable behavior--or perhaps these people are jealous that when we do function we can do what they only dream of doing."

-Uta Hagen Resepct for Acting

NYC...looking back. 3 weeks in. Season 2. (Still too much to cover to really get very detailed...)

"Being in NYC gives you your swagger back." -Pink

I couldn't have said it better myself.

3 weeks ago today I returned to the City that had been my dearest friend and worst enemy, a city that in the past has disgusted me, intimidated me, inspired me, mocked me, and made me feel like I could conquer anything.

As some of you know I left last time because I just couldn’t do it anymore. Literally. I was out of money and I had no decent housing options. One night I was folding shirts and I had this epiphany that I foresaw no certain end to my life of folding shirts. As an auditioning actress I couldn’t predict when daily routines of mindless monotony would end. I had to get out. Simultaneously I was going through the pains of a broken heart. New York was suffocating me and I needed a change. So I left. That was 1 year and 3 months ago.

Since then I lived with my Grandma, dyed my hair dark, began dating around (for the first time in 4 years), moved back to Nashville, out of Nashville, worked at that store some more, moved to VA, secured a consistent freelance writing job, performed for 4 ½ months professionally (euphoria), began writing music again, met some of my now dearest friends, spent 2 glorious weeks exploring Europe with my only sister, and led music for a small rural congregation for a month.
(And trust—this summary only covers some of it.)

Now I’m back. The time is right. I can financially afford to be here, I have a happy living situation with a friend, and I’m having a dramatically different experience. I am interning in the marketing department in a Broadway/Off-Broadway producer’s office (Fun fact: I’ve had Ken’s blog as a link on my blog for years. (Who I once admired from afar I now work for!) I’m learning tons about the business. I’m also learning a lot about what I like to do, what I have to offer and what work I find fulfilling.

Beyond that I have had the pleasure of seeing a number of plays and musicals: Memphis, A Life in the Theatre, Miss Abigail’s Guide to Dating, Mating, & Marriage, Freckleface Strawbery, Wicked, & Macbeth. And 4 of the 6 I got to see for free! Not too shabby…

In addition to that I’ve gotten to reconnect with a great deal of friends, make a few new ones, go to a concert, spot Laura Linney on the street, smile at T.R. Knight in the green room at the Schoenfeld Theatre, eat way too much Chipotle and read 2 books.

New York never stops and I’d never wish for it to…Now that I’ve lived here and lived other places I recognize that if you’re right for NYC nowhere else really satisfies. You kind of forget that when you’re gone…but then you come back and you find your swagger again. And you can’t believe you ever wanted to be anywhere else.

NYC Season 2 Episode 1 in Numbers

Days in New York: 7
Shows seen: 3
Jobs acquired: 2
Friends reconnected with: 10
Mice seen in apartment: 1
Rats seen on subway tracks: 3
Chipotle eaten: 2
Dresses worn: 1
Celebs spotted: 2
Mace purchased: 1
Book read: 1/2
Dates: Classified.

View from Weehawken, NJ taken on Tuesday night.

Worth sharing:

1. I can't stop listening to this song.



2. I found this dance to be incredibly moving.



3. I go to New York tomorrow. I'm sure there will be stories quite soon. I feel so much older/wiser/better prepared this go around. I'm not even nervous or stressed! I'm just...ecstatic.

PS! My Twitter highlight of the week...

Last week I happened to respond to one of the many New York Theatre Tweeters I follow. I commented on "Love Never Dies," the new A L Webber show I saw in London a month ago. Little did I know my passing tweet would make it into an article! Lesson learned...if you don't want the world to know "weirdo" makes a regular appearance in your mental lexicon don't put it on twitter. Here is the article nonetheless:

http://thefastertimes.com/newyorktheater/2010/09/27/week-in-new-york-theater-tweets-41/

Well, the countdown is on people! I leave for NYC a week from Saturday! Between now and then there are a host of happenings. Let's do this chronologically.

1. I'm heading in to the studio to do some voiceover work with the guys from Hello Marketing. I'm really excited to learn this entirely new (yet related) craft.
2. It's Homecoming Weekend!! And now that the bff Leslie Hagar has hit the big time (eek. I just pictured my liberal family members clicking there. Don't do it!) she's been asked to join an alumni panel and speak to Public Relations students. So not only is that impressive and is it fun for her to come for the weekend but it's also great because she gets to come a day early!! See you Thurday Hags!!
3. This weekend will be the final of 4 weekends that I've helped out with music at Radford Church here in VA. It's been overall a pretty great experience. Driving out to the...shall we say...rural parts is not my favorite but it's been wonderful to help out where what I do is useful. The things I'm good at are not usually those "come in handy" skills so when they are, it's nice.
4. I'm taking the GRE next Tuesday. Yikes. I'm prepping to apply to grad school. For real this time! More on that later...
5. One of my best friends is having a BABY this weekend. A BABY. Love you KGweese!!


Kristin and Leslie came to see me in "The Sound of Music." The one on the left is Kristin (the one having the baby this weekend.) And the one on the right is Leslie (the one coming in town this weekend.)