I travel a lot; I hate having my life disrupted by routine. ~Caskie Stinnett

I'm spending the next little bit visiting my sister Ashli and traveling along side her. Many stories to be told I'm certain. As for today--PACKING!

I took a yoga class today. I am terrible at yoga. I'm not flexible and I'm not strong. So maybe that is why I only attempt a yoga class every 6 months or so. Anyway, at the end of today's class the teacher told a biography she read in 5 chapters:

(This is my fragmented summary.)

Ch. 1 Walked down a road. Fell in a hole in the road. Took me forever to find a way out.

Ch. 2 Walked down the same road. Ignored the hole in the road. Fell in. Took me forever to find a way out.

Ch. 3 Walked down the road. Saw the hole. Fell in. Knew it was my own fault for falling in. Found my way out quickly.

Ch. 4 Walked down the road. Saw the hole. Walked around it. Avoided falling in.

Ch. 5 Chose to walk down a new road.

Beach! Ahhhhhhh.

Hi! We're enjoying a couple of days in Gulf Shores, AL before celebrating my grandparents' 60th anniversary! This is the view from our balcony:




The oil spill didn't do much for tourism but the weather, water and sand are all perfect and as you can see we're (practically) the only ones down here enjoying it.

“The cure for anything is salt water - sweat, tears, or the sea.”
-Isak Dinesen

A Weekend of Solitude

Warm greetings friends.

I write to you from a idyllically quaint cabin in Princeton, West Virginia.

And ok, the cabin to the left isn't exactly the one I'm staying in but listen-it's not a a far cry. This place is enchanting. I thought the picture was pretty. And when I googled West Virginia that's what I found.

This cabin is on loan to me for the weekend.

I’m using the time and inspiringly beautiful surroundings to pray, think, and write.

And funny, without other people and much in the way of distractions I’m quite ready for bed at 10:26 pm. ☺

Since I last checked in I’ve been in Lynchburg with a 2-day jaunt to Raleigh. There I met Andrea McArdle who is hilariously living across the breezeway from my recently-relocated Grandma. Andrea is a Broadway star who originated that little ditty “Tomorrow.” (Yes, she was the original ‘Annie’ in 1977.) Because she is being considered to play the role of Miss Hannigan in next year's revival of 'Annie' on the Bway she's doing a little 2 week test run of the part at North Carolina Theatre. (Lucky little regional theatre!) On my way (literally) out of town I actually got to meet her and found her quite lovely. She signed a cd for me “love and luck, andrea.” She indeed was lovely and I indeed felt lucky to meet her. It was cool. See the Today show piece on Andrea here.

This past week I’ve been transcribing a textbook my dad is writing and I’ve spent a good deal of time reconnecting with friends who cycle in and out of Lynchburg. There is no more transient town than this one. Kind of an odd place to live.

I finally bought a domain name so I’ve been working perfectionist-like hours trying to make it look somewhat appealing.

I’ve also been reading a lot about writing. And I just bought a biography of a most fascinating 20th century travel writer named Freya Stark. Freya was a single British woman in the 1950’s who spent her life discovering Middle Eastern culture and receiving the ever-present raised-eyebrow at her audacity. I love that!

This weekend my focus is on solitude and the clarity that can be generated from it. I can’t help but feel a little Walden-esque here so I leave with you a Thoreau quote of course:

“I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.” –Henry David Thoreau

A few pics from XOXO Gossip Girl

The only photos I got were of my wardrobe/hair/makeup, etc. I guess you'll have to tune in to the new season to see more!

I went to New York and ended up on Gossip Girl.

What. A. Week.

Where to start?

I arrived in New York on Sunday and then I promptly ran into Zach Braff. I wanted to tell him how much I appreciate his film “Garden State” and how it encapsulates a year of college for me but we passed briefly in Union Square and in that moment all I could do was gasp. No words really. Maybe he’ll google himself and find this post.

Moving on…

Monday: I attended 2 auditions. They went well even though I feel a little audition-rusty. That first audition after a job ends is always a little depressing. Back to this again. Oh that’s how the accompaniment goes. Oh yeah. Oy.

Tuesday: I already told you about wandering around and the deep thoughts and the William Zinnser quote.

Wednesday: I attended another audition-this time for Phantom of the Opera. I basically auditioned for the company that produces the Broadway production and the touring production. As I was waiting in line to get into the Equity building at 7 AM I had a flashback to my Junior year of college when my boyfriend at the time and I were on the internet and happened across an audition for the Broadway production of Phantom. I remember talking about how awesome it would be to ever actually go to an audition like that. 4 years later I was there. Standing in the rain. It was kinda full circle and kinda cool.

Thursday: I was an extra (background actor) on Gossip Girl! Not a joke! We filmed a party scene on the sidewalk outside of the Diane Von Furstenberg store in Chelsea on 14th Street and 9th Avenue. It was a pretty thrilling and fascinating experience. So interesting and SO boring simultaneously. From around 11 PM until 1 AM I was going bonkers a bit since I was merely standing around. The first few hours of filming were interesting as I was watching the production assistants control the crowds, the director choose shots, the stand-ins pose for camera angles, Diane Von Furstenberg appear for less than 5 minutes for a cameo. It was amazing seeing the hair and wardrobe the stars wore. It was hilarious to be fussed over by hair and wardrobe people myself. I was standing on set at one point and a hair stylist was brushing my hair—as if I was SOMEONE! (hilarious.)

One of the craziest aspects of the experience was that we were filming on a street in Chelsea so paparazzi and fans clamored at the barriers. At one point there was a mad frenzy of photographers attempting to snap pictures of Ed Westwick. I was on set standing opposite them so I saw the entire scene from the celebrity’s point of view. It was mind-boggling. What is it like to get THAT much attention? Strangers screaming your name and trying to take pictures of you? I can barely imagine. It’s not the kind of attention I would ever ask for. Weird, weird, weird.

Oh also, Ed Westwick looked great and was in a gorgeous suit. Maybe he was just in character or maybe he’s really tired of Gossip Girl but he was brooding nonstop. I stood near him during one shot and the only thing I heard him say was (in his ridiculously delicious British accent) “It’s hot as f*%!”

It must be so hard being him.

Friday: I shopped around town and bought some incredible earrings at a market in Soho. I also got to see Bernadette Peters star in “A Little Night Music.” Is it too dramatic to say her performance changed my life? It might have. I WEPT as she sang “Send in the Clowns.” If you have an opportunity to go to New York before December and see a beautiful piece of theatre GO SEE “A Little Night Music.” If you’re not into the art of theatre it may not be for you. It’s really a brilliant piece of commentary on relationships and it’s sung and acted ravishingly. I wish you’d go.

A very poignant line from the play is said by Frederik to Desiree when he chooses not to be with her against his better judgment:

“I’m sorry. I never should have come. To flirt with rescue when one has no intention of being saved…Do try to forgive me.”

How heartbreaking.


* * *


New York weeks are infinitely MORE than weeks other places. MORE exciting, MORE wonderful, MORE terrible, MORE fascinating, MORE intense. This week (luckily) was primarily MORE fantastic. While getting back into the grind of auditioning can be a bit overwhelming, I found myself inspired to live life with more vigor just by walking along the sidewalks of that city. Getting to observe the goings-on of filming a scene of “Gossip Girl” was fascinating and witnessing a paramount performance by Bernadette Peters was inspiring to the point that I couldn’t shout my applause for her during the curtain call because I was too moved. What a wonderful week in a wonderful city. What a wonderful life.

Having Faith in One's Own Sense of Direction

Today has been a glorious day of solitude in Manhattan. I slept in and was forced to stay in hibernation until the rain let up around 2 pm. I ventured down to Starbucks on 16th and 1st and enjoyed a bagel and coffee and perusing the (now free!) internet. After that I wandered over to Union Square and pawed through all the fashions at Forever 21 while simultaneously making mental notes of the fashions on the bodies around me. I worked my way over the square to Barnes and Noble and continued to people watch and look at books. I picked up 2 on writing and decided to investigate their prices on Amazon.com before purchasing. I saved $10 by doing that bit of research. Yeah! I ventured on to Sephora, Chipotle, Strand Bookstore and then finally Crumbs. Talk about some of my favorite establishments.

Bookstores always remind me of how much I don't know. And remind me how much knowledge there is that I'm dying to learn. I want to read about starting my own business, cooking, travel writing, new media, memoirs, Shakespeare, foreign languages, classics that I missed out on during school. There is so much more to know, yall.

And I'm reminded when I'm in this city that there is a great big world out there that I don't know anything about. There are languages to learn. Continents to visit. People to meet. I have this insatiable desire to explore.

I am currently reading this book "Writing About Your Life" (which I know sounds narcissistic) by William Zinnser (but really! here's the justification) 1. My favorite books are memoirs. 2. Zinnser's other book "On Writing Well" is one of my faves! Anyway this is a portion of an essay reprinted in "Writing About Your Life" that Zinnser wrote for a column in 1967 pleading for the right to fail--'one of the few freedoms America doesn't grant its citizens, especially its young people':

"We need mavericks and dreamers and dissenters far more than we need junior vice presidents, but we paralyze them by insisting that every step be a step up to the next rung of the ladder. Yet often the only way for boys and girls to find their proper road is to take a hundred side trips, poking out in different directions, faltering, pulling back and starting again.
'But what if we fail?' they ask, whispering the dreaded word across the generation gap to their parents, back in the Establishment. The parents whisper back, 'Don't!'
What they should say is: 'Don't be afraid to fail.' Failure isn't the end of the world. Countless people have had a bout of failure and come out stronger as a result. Many have even come out famous. History is strewn with eminent dropouts, loners who followed their own trail, not worrying about its unexpected twists and turns because they had faith in their own sense of direction. To read their biographies is exhilarating, not only because they beat the system but because their system was better than the one they beat."

Long live side trips.

The Curious Tale of the Soccer Cheerleaders (and Their Ardant Admirer)

I can picture it vividly. In fact, it may be one of my earliest memories. I remember sitting in the bleachers at the Donelson-Hermitage YMCA in 1988. I was a forced fan of my older sister’s soccer team. (Now the thought of 5-year-olds “playing soccer” sounds kind of hilarious to me.) The team was in large part male-dominated but the Sutton clan believed in learning the value of the “team sport” early—before other girls even started playing I guess. I, being a mere 3-years-old, was no avid sports fan and had no real interest in joining the other kids in either running the field or kicking the ball. I did however light up one day when I heard the announcement that the soccer team would be acquiring a squad of cheerleaders to root on the home team. I have some distant memory that perhaps the parents were just looking for another activity to engage the siblings of the players on the team. Soccer cheerleaders. Now as an adult I realize at that time I had never heard of soccer cheerleaders and I’ve never since heard tell of them but all I wanted in 1988 was to be one. These girls ran out to the fields in beautiful costumes (in sports they’re known as “uniforms”) and got to do a show for the crowd! What’s not to love? To admire? To utterly die to be a part of?
Now it might have been the idiocy of “soccer cheerleaders” or the fact that I was but 3 or that I was never properly invited but I did not become a soccer cheerleader that year.
The snapshot in my brain is of the soccer cheerleaders running by skirt pleats flying in the breeze. One such cheerleader spots the look of longing in my barely non-toddler eyes and exclaims to me “You’re so lucky you’re not wearing this! I’m freezing to death!”
In that moment, all I wanted in my 3-year-old world was to be freezing to death three pleats to the wind.
Not only did those girls get to perform and look cute doing it but they were doing something together! They were all focused on the same goal. They were really a part of something. I’ll never forget longing to be a part of something.
22 years later that same. feeling. crept up in me again!

It was the day of the first dress rehearsal for Grease.

Backstory:

As you may or may not know I spent February-June at the Wohlfhart Haus Dinner Theatre in Wytheville, VA. I originally signed a contract to play “Liesl” in “The Sound of Music.” In those days I was applying for arts marketing internships in Washington D.C. for the summer. I had every intention of playing that amazing role in that amazing show and moving on to start a career off stage. What I didn’t plan on was being turned down flat by the theatre companies to which I applied. (All of them.) So I looked for my next best possible employment. I auditioned for Grease at WHDT—the show next on deck to be produced. After giving (and this is by no means an exaggeration) my WORST audition attempt ever I somehow got lucky and was cast to cover the role of Patty for the 2nd half of the run. So after SOM closed I attended rehearsals for Grease even though I wouldn’t be performing with the cast for an additional month.

Ok back to dress rehearsal. All the women in the cast were getting ready to perform “Beauty School Dropout.” You may know that in this dream sequence the girls wear exaggerated salon gear that is reminiscent of Vegas showgirls: headpieces adorned with curlers that add a foot in height, shiny white capes trimmed with feathers. It’s dramatic and a bit silly.

But what wasn’t silly to me was this strange longing to wear this costume. As I sat in the audience and saw my fellow cast members all looking strangely alike wearing the same thing I had a flashback to the soccer field. I just wanted to be a part of it. I felt like one might run by me and say: “You’re so lucky you’re not wearing this! I’m freezing to death!” Perhaps illogical, I felt transported to 1988. 3 years old. Not cold. And dying to be.

Maybe that’s a really universal sensation. Or maybe it’s that longing that draws the unique and colorful to a life in the theatre. I remember the moment that I actually and finally DID get to put that most disgusting costume on (it was made of shower curtains and I don’t know if you know this—shower curtains do. not. breathe!) and I felt so privileged to do so. I felt like I was a part of something. A team. A cause. A show. I felt grateful to be performing, grateful to be delighting an audience, and grateful to be alive.

Heading to the city that never sleeps on Sunday by way of the nation's capital. The anticipation is killing me!!!

To Do List:

Go to some auditions--I've got 4 that I'd like to hit.
Eat Crumbs Cupcake while watching the puppies in the Union Square dog park (never gets old).
Attend Broadway in Bryant Park (free entertainment and free suntan!)
Catch up with a passel of friends--many of my most inspiring friends live in NYC--it attracts those types.
Eat Chipotle and Cosi.
Be stimulated and pushed to be better just by walking down the street.

More later...

Casting Little Women? Wanting to know what I did with my days off last week? Neither? Read on!

Last week I had the joy of performing "Some Things Are Meant to Be" with one of my best friends Selah Grace. Little Women is one of my favorite musicals, favorite books and is the story of one of my 2 favorite literary heroines: Jo March (do you know who the other one is?)

I'm ending my time in Wytheville on Sunday and it is bittersweet in a hundred ways. What a joy it's been to perform these shows and to meet people who have made such an impression on my heart. Time is always chugging along and chapters are meant to end so you can get to the next one. As I've mentioned before I feel change so deeply in my soul. It aches in me. This song is a beautiful representation of the sweetness that this experience has been to me.

Life in the theatre is both tragic and joyous. Nothing lights my soul ablaze like a meaningful performance. And the performances always end. Shows close and new shows open. May we never stop telling stories that touch and inspire hearts.

I had Coldstone today. It was DELICIOUS. That has nothing to do with this post.

Reflection time!

I sit on my mom’s pristine white couch in this house that represents where I come from. Clean floors. A big comfy bed. Quiet. Comforting. Consistent. Tomorrow I drive back to the cast house at Wytheville which is a perfect representation of my life currently: full of loud, dramatic people. Bugs, No A/C, and lots of living for the moment. It also ends July 4th. A week and a half from now. Then it’s back to square 1. Luckily I’ve saved some money and I’m giving a lot of thought to what I want out of life next. I’m looking before I leap, so to speak. It’s been 3 years since I finished college. Lynchburg to Orlando to Roanoke to Nashville to New York to Nashville to Lynchburg to Wytheville to…?

This next step is a pivotal one. It’s a real life next place. It’s signing a lease. Having a door—a door that’s really mine not one I’m borrowing for a month or two.

The actor life is a weird one. Especially the regional theatre route. You pick up and go to this theatre and this living situation where you potentially don’t know anyone. And then all of a sudden it becomes your world. It’s your personal life, your work life, your passion, your well…almost, everything. And then it ends. Sometimes it doesn’t end fast enough and sometimes you’re dreading the end. I guess in this case in my life right now I have a little bit of anxiety about the sudden halt of an income and ya know, going through a big life change again but I also feel ready to go. I didn’t accept the job performing in The Sound of Music with the intention of moving permanently to Wytheville. I’m not a small town girl—I’m DEFINITELY not a Wytheville girl. But more than that I need to…what’s the least melodramatic way of saying this…find my real self again? When the sphere of your world becomes no greater than say, 30 people life situations seem more desperate, more dramatic. It’s like bumping around life in the dark a bit. There have been moments where I felt more in touch with my own soul and with God during my stay in Wytheville. By no coincidence it was when I was performing a show that pointed the audience towards God. Every night during The Sound of Music Psalm 121 was quoted: “I look to the hills from whence cometh my Help.” Now, Grease is definitely fun and is a joy to perform but there is something profound about performing a show that deeply moves its audience. For actors the show can absolutely affect their personal lives…even emotionally and spiritually. So I guess we should choose our work wisely, eh? Back to the point. I have so much togetherness with this group of people that I didn’t select for myself that I’ve become strongly affected and influenced by them. I need to get outta there and find my own way again. I’m so grateful for some of the friendships I’ve gained through the experience but in large part that is what I want them to be: friendships. Not constants who I’m surrounded by at home, at work, when I socialize, etc, etc. My time at that cast house, in that theatre, is up for the time being. I think the experience may have been sweeter if it had been shorter. I guess that’s a hypothetical statement. I’m looking forward to what’s next however uncertain it may be.

What is most immediately next is a 2 week stay in New York and a 2 week visit to my sister across the pond. I’m elated for both trips. I’ll be assisting with my dad’s latest project—a new textbook while I’m in NYC. I’ll also be auditioning a lot so while the trip will be incredible it won’t be 100% vacation. My trip to Great Britain though will be vacation + +! Ashli and I are in the process of scheming stops in London, Paris and 1 destination TBD. This summer has already been blissful (albeit HOT) and it’s only gonna get better from here. Thanks for allowing for my streamofconsciousness ramblings. Word.

I wanna write songs like this

Saw Crazy Heart last night. This song has been in my head ever since. So poignant to me! So poignant I'm not using complete sentences. Booyah.



I was goin’ where I shouldn’t go
seein’ who I shouldn’t see
doin’ what I shouldn’t do
and bein’ who I shouldn’t be

a little voice told me it’s all wrong
another voice told me it’s alright
I used to think I was strong
but lately I just lost the fight

funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’
for a little while
funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’
for a little while

I got tired of bein’ good
started missing that old feeling free
stop actin’ like I thought I should
and went on back to bein’ me

I never meant to hurt no one
I just had to have my way
if there is such a thing as too much fun
this must be the price you pay

funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’
for a little while
funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’
for a little while

you never see it comin’ till it’s gone
it all happens for a reason
even when it’s wrong
especially when it’s wrong

funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’
for a little while
funny how fallin’ feels like flyin’
for a little while

I was goin’ where I shouldn’t go
seein’ who I shouldn’t see
doin’ what I shouldn’t do
and bein’ who I shouldn’t be

The best of times is now.
What's left of Summer
But a faded rose?
The best of times is now.
As for tomorrow,
Well, who knows? Who knows? Who knows?
So hold this moment fast,
And live and love
As hard as you know how.
And make this moment last
Because the best of times is now,
Is now, is now.
Now, not some forgotten yesterday.
Now, tomorrow is too far away.
So hold this moment fast,
And live and love
As hard as you know how.
And make this moment last,
Because the best of times is now,
Is now,
is now.

Congrats to La Cage Aux Folles for winning Best Revival of a Musical! These are some lyrics from the most famous song from the show. The take-captive-every-moment message of the lyrics is right up my alley. Happy Monday!

Children Will Listen

This week I had a long talk with a friend who is battling an eating disorder. Her mother (who is her only family) has an eating disorder of her own and expresses approval of her daughter when she is a certain size. This has devastated my friend. Her mother may think in some twisted way that she is encouraging her daughter to live a better life or be more successful but her size-based approval has done nothing but cause pain in my friend's life. I've never been a parent but I have 2 great ones. There's no greater influence in a child's life. I'm so grateful my parents have loved and supported me unconditionally. One area of my life that they've lent constant support to is my career in performance. I made an audition video this week and included one of my favorite songs by Stephen Sondheim. Within the musical "Into the Woods" a mother who has lost a child sings this number. My interpretation is from an adult child's standpoint--finally telling her mother what she's needed to express for all these years. Hope you like it.

"Let your boat of life be light-packed with only what you need:
a homely home & simple pleasures,
someone to love & someone to love you,
a cat, a dog & a pipe or two,
enough to eat & to wear
& a little more than enough to drink
for thirst is a dangerous thing."
-Jerome Klapka Jerome

Things are good here in Meville. The Sound of Music ended, I went to Raleigh and to Orlando. I came back and performed the role of Cha-cha in Grease. I went to Pigeon Forge and saw Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat. I came to Lynchburg for a few days. I'm going to NYC next week for a couple of days. I'm going to start playing Patty in Grease next weekend! I have a little over a month of time left in Wytheville so I'm beginning to scheme about the next place and the next phase. It's about that time that I stick to one spot for a while. Nothing's nailed down yet but I have a good feeling about a good place. I'll let you know when it's time...

Florida. Songs. Family.

Hey yall!

So what’s cool/new/interesting/noteworthy…

1. I write to you from sunny Florida! (not at the moment, as it’s 11:26 pm) I had time on my side so I came down to my favorite southern state (no offense, everybody) and have had a b-last. I attended an audition, caught up with various friends, experienced the nightlife, went to the Magic Kingdom, Epcot and spent the afternoon poolside. Oh and I finished off the trip with cheesecake. It has been a splendidly perfect little mini-vacay. Sometimes you just need a change of scenery, ya know? I know I do. Since I live/work/hangout/spendallmytime with the same set of people (and have for the past [almost] 3 months) I needed to get out of the Real World Wytheville for a bit and see different faces and smell different places. So to speak. Anyway, it’s been good to recharge and enjoy all the goodness Orlando has to offer. I only lived here 6 months but there is something so familiar and homey about this place to me. I made close friends very quickly here. Orlando is also very nostalgic for me because my first taste of grown-up was here. I packed my bags and moved here 2 weeks after graduation. I can’t believe that was 3 years ago…but yes, I can because so much LIFE has been lived since! Oh the living and the learning…

2. I don’t know if you know I play guitar. I actually started playing when I was 13. My mom (the author of “Near Perfect Parenting”) was brilliant and saw that my previous passion—cheerleading (HA!)—was not what we’ll call my shining star talent. She knew I loved music and thought maybe I needed a hobby or something that could help with my textbook youngest child needs. So she signed me up for guitar lessons! With a burst of self-esteem and a new found love I learned to play every church praise chorus in existence. I then moved on to writing some of my own stuff. When I got in college my songwriting slowed down a lot. I think it was in part because my focus shifted almost entirely on to musical theatre. Also, in college I may have gotten a bit downtrodden on the whole singer/songwriter thing as I saw (almost) every peer of mine going for the same thing. After leaving my guitar in Nashville and living in Orlando and NYC I picked it up again last fall. I had forgotten how satisfying it was to learn how to play a song I liked. To minimize giving you all the unnecessary details I began to play even more at the cast house in Wytheville. My friends and fellow cast members seemed to genuinely feel moved and enjoy the music. 2 of them even went so far as to give me a new journal for the express purpose of writing music again. So it’s been about 5 weeks since my birthday and I’ve completed 2 songs. It’s so. so. satisfying.

3. 3rd of all you should know that May is the month of family. Did I ever tell you about how I decided in January that each month of 2010 is going to have a different focus for me? I opted to organize things that way instead of having some laundry list of goals/resolutions. The May focus is to invest in and nurture my relationships with family. And that I have been doing! My amazing sister see HERE spent the last 2 weeks in the States and even came to Wytheville to see the Sound of Music. We had slumber parties both there and in Raleigh during our cousin Talia’s epic Bat Mitzvah weekend. The one sad thing that happened lately is that my Grandma had a looot of damage to her house due to that crazy flood that swept through Nashville. The entire ground level of her condo is pretty ruined. Thankfully my mom and her siblings have really rallied together to support her through this horrendously difficult situation. Can you imagine being in your 70’s and all of a sudden losing everything? Not me. If we’re spinning this in the positive light (which we always do) we’re just glad Gram is safe and that Stanley is too. Sharing the Bat Mitzvah events and Mother’s Day with her was extra special this year.

That's all for now. If you want to hear some great music you should probably go look at youtube.com/jeffcarl. Jeff is a close friend of mine and an inspiringly profound musician. His cover of 'Brooklyn' is my lullaby tonight.

So it’s 1 AM and I’m listening to She & Him and playing on my computer. I have a deadline tomorrow for an article I’m writing for a local magazine. I’m not going to bed until I finish it…which of course directly correlates to why I’m being all introspective and bloggy and distracted. This is one of my first nights being the only one awake in this house. I’ll have you know that 12 people live here right now so the chances of me being the last one to bed are ya know…only 1 in 12. Anyway.

I just looked at this picture of my sister dressed up BEAUTIFULLY for a wedding she went to in Oxford, England this weekend. And I was reminded that we’re grownups. I was once again reminded that life has been happening. This is my life. I’m sitting in a cast house. My job is performing plays. I’m continually growing and learning new things.

Tonight I prayed out loud with some other people in a non-church, non-blessing food setting for the first time in a long time. I can’t even remember the last time I was involved in a situation like that where I was the one praying out loud. It may have happened on some tragic day or a wedding day. I don’t remember. That’s how long it’s been. It used to be a pretty standard part of my life. Safe to say it happened more than once every week 5+ years ago. Hmm.

I watched the film “An Education” again tonight. I was gunning for it when 4 of us girls went to the Redbox. I love this little monologue midway through the film:

My teacher says action is character. I think that means that if we never did anything we'd never be anybody. And I never did anything before I met you. And sometimes I think nobody ever did anything in this whole stupid country apart from you.

Sometimes if you delete certain people from life you find that the life sparkle is gone all of a sudden. You really only recognize it if you’ve ever had it. I know that’s sort of the inversion of what that quote says but nevertheless it’s true.

I realized today that I knew that I loved smart people—intellectual people who know a lot about things like politics and nuclear power and music history. But I kind of had this epiphany that when it comes to someone to spend my life with I’ve really got to have someone with a really high emotional intelligence too…somebody who feels really deeply and understands that part of me. I think if you don’t have that you can’t even really recognize it in other people. Maybe I’m speaking to a subject that I don’t know enough about to make definitive judgment calls on…I don’t know.

Alright, ok, I’m gonna finish this article now. By the way, I totally referenced OSHA in paragraph 4 and I’m personally impressed by that. Carry on…

Lately I've been thinking...

all this time I should've been sitting around strumming Beatles songs.

Grease Lightnin'

New news!

I've been cast in Grease at the Wohlfahrt Haus Dinner Theatre! I'll be playing Patty Simcox from June 12th-July 3rd. The character is a complete detour from Liesl and I'm STOKED. To jog your memory Patty is the prudish, high energy so-nice-she's-mean cheerleader who takes Sandy under wing. I'm so excited to play this girl who would've driven me bonkers in high school. :)

Come for a visit!