24 November, 2005

Five Lessons to Learn from Mr. Darcy

This was the title of the small article I just came across while looking through my mom's "Real Simple" magazine. It is of particular interest to me because this past weekend I finished reading my new favorite book, "Pride and Prejudice." I thought these tips on salvaging a bad first impression were worth noting...

"The original title of Jane Austen's classic 'Pride and Prejudice' was 'First Impressions.' That's because practically every character in the book makes a bad one--none more so than Mr. Darcy, who spends the rest of the tale trying to overcome his. Some of his lessons along the way to a happy ending apply to nonfiction life as well.
1) Don't be rude--you never know who might be listening. Arriving at the ball where he first meets Elizabeth Bennett, Mr. Darcy is in a foul mood. When he complains that none of the women are fit to dance with, Elizabeth overhears--and is, of course, offended. Had Darcy kept his ill humor to himself, he wouldn't have prejudiced Elizabeth against him. Then again, Jane Austen wouldn't have had much of a book.
2) Beware of your body language. While Darcy is forever coming off as stodgy and snooty, he is, in fact, uncomfortable. Paying a little attention to that scowl would have done him a world of good. Nota bene: When you're quiet, your body language speaks for you.
3) Be honest about your feelings. The more Darcy tries to cover his up, the worse things get. Though a first attempt at complete honesty goes disastrously wrong (delivery does count), it is the truth--along with a few behavioral modifications--that mends his relationship with Elizabeth. People appreciate honestly and can sense deceit. Come clean.
4) If you have trouble explaining yourself, write it down. Following his blow-up (and an ill-considered speech delivered in the heat of passion), Darcy writes Elizabeth a polite, carefully thought-out letter that clears up the misunderstandings that have stood between them. An e-mail, though less elegant, may work, too.
5) Persevere. Time can tip the scales. It takes a year, but eventually Darcy manages to win Elizabeth over. If it's important, keep trying. Invite the person to coffee, a cocktail party. What have you got to lose?"

1 comment:

Heather said...

So good to see you over the holiday - can't wait to spend some real quality time over the next month or so. Best of luck with exams, etc.

Love you!