15 January, 2007

On Authenticity and Love

So, this is the part where I have something cool and/or thought-provoking to share but I have to preface it by admitting something slightly embarrassing.

I get email devotions.

Having said that, the one that I got this morning had alot to do with some thoughts that have been going through my head since the end of the semester and throughout Christmas break. Here is what I received in my email:

The apostle Paul wrote, "Though I give my body to be burned but have not love, it profits me nothing." He says that our sacrifices have no spiritual significance if they're not motivated by love.
Let me offer a modern paraphrase:
"Though I keep a spotless house and though I'm faithful in church attendance and though I work in the church nursery every other Sunday and though I lead a Bible study or teach a Sunday school class and though I home school my kids, and all that that requires, if I do it without love, I am nothing. And if I make enormous sacrifices for my family but do it out of a sense of obligation or a desire to impress rather than love, it's worth nothing."
Do you want your life to count for something? Ask God to fill you with His love.


This thought lined right up with my thoughts, not because I have been doing all these acts of service for the Lord out of a sense of obligation, or even that I've been doing all that much (my car is clean. my room is not. :), but something that I've been mulling over since I've been home can be summed up in one word: authenticity.

For some people I think being authentic is very, very challenging. Perhaps it's because they have problems with trusting others, they've been hurt or disappointed after they've been real with someone. For others, they are too insecure and are worried about being accepted by others, so they wear a mask of inauthenticity. For others maybe they are just shallow...I don't know.

But something that I've found to be integral in my close relationships is one thing: being real. I was talking with a friend the other day and she was saying that one of my closest friendships is pretty unlikely. And I said, "why? because i'm a girl and he's a guy and it's always been platonic?" And she said, "No, because you're a preacher's daughter who hasn't necessarily made huge mistakes in life, and he's--well, definitely not."
After thinking about it, I realized that my most valued friendships aren't necessarily the ones with people who have it "all together." My most valued relationships are with people who don't give a crap. They're just real. And I love that. Of course, there are characteristics in friends that I look for and am drawn towards. I love talented people. I love passionate people. I love hilarious people. But above alllll of that, I want to surround myself with people who are authentic. Real. Incapable of being fake just to impress someone or to keep a status quo.

I know people who have "spiritual" personas. They lead Bible studies, frequent church services, carry their Bibles. But the thing is, there are people they refuse to love. Refuse to minister to. Refuse to even be around. How is this love? Is love conditional? I just don't see how you can be authentically used by God but refuse to love some people. Based on choices they've made or whatever.

So, something that I'm striving to do, especially this last semester, is to be authentic and to love. Love the girls who've betrayed me and lied to me. Love the boys who struggle with porn or homosexuality. Love people and be real with them.

When it comes down to it...as Christians...isn't that the basics, anyway?

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

"How is this love?"

It's not

Great post hil! something everyone needs to hear.

Anonymous said...

I actually have a problem with people who have that "spiritual persona" that you refer to, and then I stand in violation of this idea of loving everyone. My desire to avoid hypocrisy leads me to avoid hypocrites, which is its own form of hypocrisy. I've used this as an excuse to avoid functions that I didn't want to go to and Satan has worked a spirit of division in me at times.

I don't know why I feel compelled to share this, it's just what I thought when I read. Maybe I'm just confessing that my desire to be authentic sometimes stalls out as only "more authentic than others". At any rate, you got a new reader today.

Jason said...

nice post...i must say, "And if I make enormous sacrifices for my family but do it out of a sense of obligation " was really convicting...

Anonymous said...

you are at a good place in your journey mulling over these thoughts.
i love your friendship because of these things. no pretense. no sugar-coating. authenticity is not always easy, usually involves messiness, but is always the better option. now, for our authenticity to actually be love, grace, mercy, etc instead of pride, judgement, or hate...

Anonymous said...

i have been having similar thoughts over the last year. i agree with lace...your authenticity is one of your most endearing qualities. i used to think that i loved people, but i am learning so much more about loving others...it's not always convenient, but love is the better choice. the true picture is how we love others when it's not planned & when nobody else is watching. it is the LOVE of Christ touches people.