NY week 6! wow!

So I'm back in New York after a whirlwind weekend in Lynchburg. I was blessed enough to get to see not only dear old friends but also my parents and my sister who I didn't count on seeing again for a solid 6 months! We all got to share meals, laughs and great j crew sales. Even better we got to walk through a house my parents are making an offer on. After all the shit that happened in Nashville it is SO exciting and joyful to walk in an empty house that my parents can fill and live in and start. over.

I left Lynchburg beyond sleep deprived. 2 nights of 3 hours of sleep. It kinda makes you crazy. I really felt like I was in the twilight zone Monday afternoon when I got back to the City. Ya know those moments where you're like "Wait, is this a reality show. Where's the hidden camera? Seriously." That's so how I felt.

Yesterday I tried to make it up to an audition but overslept b/c I had forgotten to set my alarm. I ended up standing outside in line in the freezing cold for upwards of an hour. The security guard just stood on the other side of the glass in the empty lobby staring at us while my toes got so cold they were hurting.

It's moments like that that make me feel less romantic about New York.

Today I had a total of 3 hour or longer conversations about life and being 23 (24 in 2 weeks) and what city to live in and what ideologies to believe and whether or not to pursue graduate school or to pursue making real money or to pursue the art.

These years have to be the strangest most fulfilling exciting gut-wrenching years of our lives.

I'm trying to sincerely take this whole journey one step at a time...if I put it in writing it will be good. I am planning to definitely stay in New York through the end of May. I may (REALLY) kind of hate my job and hate crowds and hate dirty handrails. But I love this experience and the challenge and I will love having said I did it for more than 3 months. I also know that my values are changing and I may want something new and different soon. Something that is a big picture investment. Like grad school in a discipline I'd like to eventually teach?

And you may or may not be wondering about the door situation...

I'm presently staying at my uncle's totally charming apartment in cute Astoria. If you ever move to New York and can't afford hipster Brooklyn or ridiculously expensive too small Manhattan, Astoria is not far and the apartments are bigger and the streets are quiet in a good way. The kicker is that he has a spare bedroom so you know what that means. I am in a room of my own with a bed (not a futon or an air mattress) a desk and a DOOR!! I am so grateful for the space to be alone but I am still looking forward to the magical day when I will have my own rented door. It looks like it will be happening April 15th! It couldn't come soon enough.

In the mean time I'm trying to not let the fact that I'm without a place of my own break my spirit. If you have any positive vibes or encouraging thoughts feel free to send them this way. :-)