i guess i've got chutzpah.

“I don’t see how you stay so optimistic. Going to auditions every day. Not getting gigs every day...I couldn’t do it!”

“I’m optimistic because…I have to be.”

Pounding the pavement auditioning almost daily is not an easy task. Every show calls for you to express something slightly different to show the casting directors that you are a good fit for the character. That means knowing 16 bars of songs that would be right for every character in every show out there that you think you’re a match for. Oh and it can’t actually be from that show so you have to find a similar character in a different show with a similar range and style and personality and age range and motive.

And you need to have it memorized. And it better be in the right key and clearly marked for the pianist. And don’t forget your headshot and resume and perfect audition dress. And pantyhose! You’ll probably have to stop and buy some since they rip after 3 wears. And you better straighten your hair if you’re not auditioning for “Hair” or “Jane Eyre” because your kind of hair really only fits for hippy roles and women from the 19th century. And you have to make it easy for the casting director to envision you in this role that has been played by countless numbers of people so you have to be a bit generic but not too generic that you’re forgettable.

And you better get to that studio wicked early because if you don’t you risk doing all that work and preparation and sitting and waiting and not even getting seen at all. And then you’ll just be pissed off at yourself all night at work thinking “If I had just gotten up when my alarm went off I wouldn’t have missed what obviously would have been my big break!”

But if you didn’t get seen that day because you’re not in the Actors union and its truly not your fault you’ll have to spin it in a different way so you don’t think about all the things you could have been doing in glorious New York City that day while instead you were a shut-in with 300 girls who look just like you humming annoying songs and dying of boredom.

This whole audition scene is a mind game. You have to be smarter than your mind because your mind will drive you crazy. You have to decide that no matter what happens at the audition that day…you don’t get seen, you get seen but you forget the words, you get seen but you go flat, you get seen but the director is a total tool, you get seen and you do AWESOME, you get seen and you do awesome but you don’t get a callback, you get seen and you get a callback…

That it doesn’t affect whether it’s a good day or not. Because ultimately you don’t control how you’re received. You control what you’re giving and you control your outlook. As long as I remember each day is a gift and there are a million reasons to smile and LIVE I can keep going into that audition room and hoping today’s the day.