(Warning: there is heavy usage of the words "I" and "My" in this blog. That's a little disgusting to me (oh there I go...oh there I go double!!) but I thought if you are up to the task of reading this you might care what's going on with me. I definitely care about what's going on with you. :-))
Hello big bright beautiful world!
I've been a bit absent from here lately only because the things preoccupying my mind and heart aren't particularly blog ready and/or blog appropriate.
It's strange. As extroverted and open-bookish as I am I just don't want to share all of it with everybody.
Meanwhile, I wish I could write as fast as I type/think. My wrist can't handle the thought speed! (I do love a seat by a window at a golden lit coffee shop in the early evening though. That's where I am now. Well, not now-now. Now as in when I was writing this--not typing. Ahem.)
Fear not though I have been writing a lot. I recently made November Resolutions. Yes that is the thing normal people do in January. Well, Patric and I decided to make June Resolutions over the summer and randomly prioritizing and setting goals really lends itself to giving a span of time some specific direction. So for these last 2 months I have Novemberesolutions. They include things like: finish reading these certain books. And get the hell off of Facebook. Things like that. I'm still poring over Anne Lamott's "Bird by Bird" and not only learning things about writing but there's also a ton to be gleaned and applied to acting. Here's an example:
"...each of your characters has an emotional acre that they tend, or don't tend, in certain specific ways. One of the things you want to discover as you start out is what each person's acre looks like. What is the person growing, and what sort of shape is the land in? ...you need to find out as much as possible about the interior life of the people you are working with...you also want to ask yourself how they stand, what they carry in their pockets or purses, what happens in their faces and to their posture when they are thinking, or bored, or afraid. Whom would they have voted for last time? Why should we care about them anyway? What would be the first thing they stopped doing if they found out they had six months to live? Would they start smoking again? Would they keep flossing?"
Good writing--as well as good acting--is in the details.
Coming home to Nashville for a few months has been great for my inner world. I've gotten to reconnect with my inner songwriter, guitarist, indy music lover, voracious reader, aspiring author and sacred music lover. There are many facets to my artist--yours too, I am certain.
I think in order to grow in one area of art we must tend to our other artistic gardens. Reading about writing--and in turn, writing about reading--is certainly making me a more thoughtful (read: better) actor.
In New York there was a certain level of manic urgency to my artistic focus. Specifically every day I was preparing for the audition that was coming up in the next 3 days or less. In Nashville I have been relieved of the constant pressure to prepare urgently. Instead I can prepare for auditions months in advance, finding excellent material, chewing on character choices. I can read a lot, play a lot and generally just enjoy creativity without the urgency. Gratifying for sure.
It really is fulfilling and in no small way life-altering to have a tangible long term goal. I've discovered that I want to get a MFA in acting--no small task to get into a program much less complete it! And it has affected everything. What I think about, what I write about, how I envision my future, how I spend my money--even where I live. The next year and two months will be spent in focused preparation. I have a code to crack--the law of getting into a well-respected MFA program. When it comes to performing I've truly never sought to discover how much I can learn, how much talent I can tap into and how much skill I can develop. Acting is a field many of us think will find us. I am not going to be discovered as I write in my journal at a coffee shop in Hillsboro Village today. (As AWESOME as it would be for a big Broadway producer to waltz in and say: "You! You there! With the dark reddishbrownish curly hair drinking the Rolover! Are you technically Jewish and play guitar and jump rope well? Can you sing an F? You're hired! Tell Playbill.com we've found our star!")
Lots and lots and lots of effort must be exuded. And that's ok. That's good even. So, here goes...
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