Conclusions on Heart-Guarding...

“Be sure to guard your heart.”

What comes to mind when you hear that phrase? For many Christians in our generation, we instantly think about dating, or for that matter—kissing it goodbye. It reminds us that we shouldn’t give our hearts away too quickly, because the possibility of someone unmercifully breaking or trampling them is an unfortunately great possibility. Joshua Harris, author of “I Kissed Dating Goodbye” put this new spin on the phrase when he preached that young people should guard their hearts by not giving them away to a member of the opposite sex prematurely. Since the book, published in 1995, swept the nation’s youth and singles groups, young people have clung tightly to Harris’ advice. With over 800,000 copies in print, a generation of college students now exists that have been firmly taught to “guard their hearts” and in so doing may reap the consequences of fear and inability to be transparent in developing relationships.

The concept of “guarding your heart” has become so engrained in us that we assume the idea of protecting ourselves is naturally rooted in the Bible. Interestingly, the Scripture commonly used to support this ideology is completely unrelated to the idea of self-protection. Proverbs 4:23 says, “Guard your heart above all else, for it is the source of life.” Read alone, the Scripture might be interpreted as: be on guard not to let yourself get carried away in your emotions, because everything else in your life will be affected. But if one chooses to read on in the passage, one can see verse 23 in its context. Solomon writes verses 24-27 in exhortation to his son. “Don’t let your mouth speak dishonestly, and don’t let your lips talk deviously. Let your eyes look forward; fix your gaze straight ahead. Carefully consider the path for your feet and all your ways will be established. Don’t turn to the right or to the left; keep your feet away from evil.” Proverbs never discusses guarding your heart because it is fragile and can be easily broken. It discusses guarding your heart because of its true nature. This is observed in Jeremiah 17:9: “the heart is more deceitful than anything else and desperately sick—who can understand it?” Solomon firmly pens the words “guard your heart” to encourage his son to guard his heart from sin, not from emotion. Because the heart is “desperately wicked” Christians must be constantly vigilant of the sin that can creep up in our hearts, where no one can observe it except the Lord and ourselves.

Unfortunately, the challenge to guard the thoughts and motives in our hearts has been replaced by the warning to guard ourselves from opening our hearts to receive the possible disappointment inflicted by others. By studying Harris’ idea even more, one can see how it is contrary to the very nature of God. Harris’ ideology purports that it is biblical for people to isolate themselves in fear under the guise of “guarding their hearts.” Scripture clearly teaches that no child of God should be living fearfully as we are to put our trust, dependence, worth, and expectations on Him alone, which in turn frees us up to love others without condition. Decades before 21-year-old Harris penned his advice, theologian, author, and educator C.S. Lewis expressed his thoughts on “guarding your heart” in his classic collection of apologetics, “Mere Christianity.”

“If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket—safe, dark, motionless, airless—it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”

So before passionately implementing the idea preached by the next popular Christian dating book, I encourage you to find your worth in God. Do not fear the future. Open yourself up to someone. And try not to let another one of Solomon’s proverbs become a distorted Christian slogan.