Things Learned in 2008

I wrote a similarly titled list last year. Initially I didn’t feel particularly inspired to recount the things I had learned this past year but once I sat and thought a list came. And here ya have it.

1. When having disagreements with roommates it is better to communicate then not. When I was living in Florida in the fall of 2007 I had a terribly non-communicative living situation. It was basically 2 against 2. Instead of confronting roommates about things they did that I thought were selfish and inconsiderate I ended up venting to my other roommate. Eventually the roommate who was in the wrong found out about my issue and decided to play the victim. In short, it would’ve been better if I just communicated clearly in the first place. I have this thing about preferring to be liked than not and in turn I avoid confrontation at all costs. Sometimes honest conversation is just the better thing. Because nothing gets resolved when you don’t talk. And btw, this counts for 2008 because this concept didn’t hit me until months later.
2. When someone shows you who they are believe them. This is a phrase coined by Maya Angelou that I had heard but never really resonated with me. I learned this year if you have a friend who you’ve seen have repeated issues with other friends eventually that friend will have the same issue with you. When people show you their character you have to recognize it and you can’t fault them for it later. Friend at your own risk! And if you don’t think that kind of behavior is something you want in a close friend then put a little distance there and invest elsewhere.
3. Playing peacemaker usually leads to drama. I know this sounds like a 10th grade realization but when I saw two friends have a miscommunication in the past I (being the communications major or future counselor or whatever) always wanted to play mediator to help the situation resolve itself. 9.9 times out of 10 this leads to getting roped into the situation and all of a sudden someone has a problem with you. Not worth it. Don’t become involved whether it’s a romantic relationship, friendship, or working relationship. Don’t. Get. Involved.
4. I want a dog.
5. When you are young (especially in your career) is the time to decide how you’re going to do things. In April I had to stand up to a scary boss at a theatre and tell him that there were lines I wasn’t willing to say because they were offensive to me. I almost lost my job over this situation. But losing my integrity and self-respect would have been incredibly worse.
6. Being a Mom is freaking hard work. It’s something I want in my life SOMEday but doesn’t have nearly as much appeal as being married does. You can still be young and awesome and exciting when you’re married. Being a parent is when legit responsibility, selflessness and butt-wiping comes in. No thanks!! (For now.) Preschoolers are more than cute short people with chubby cheeks that say funny things. They are human beings that have been entrusted to YOUR care. Wowwie.
7. Being transient is fun but really not practical for putting roots down, developing relationships or making money. In order to find success in any one theatre scene I have to commit to it. This year I really want to commit to one location by the end of the year. Is this a resolution?
8. Physical closeness is basically always nice but it’s much MUCH MUUUUUCH nicer with someone you love. How’s that for inconspicuous?
9. Friendships evolve and it doesn’t have to be sad. Sometimes two friends grow apart because of circumstances. It doesn’t mean you love them less. It just means they’re married and have a 9-5 and a fence and a dog and you have a suitcase a Betsey dress and no boyfriend. It’s ok to not be in the same place in life and recognize you have less in common. That’s life.
10. Mint.com is freaking awesome.
11. Picnik.com is also freaking awesome.
12. Politics are both important and fascinating. And I judge people who are apathetic. And I judge people with ignorant arguments even more. I do. I said it!
13. I crave companionship—which may not sound like much but IS! For a year I wanted to play the field not find 1 playmate. That’s changed.
14. You can find all kinds of interesting ways to make money on the internet. You just need to look.
15. The more I learn about the performing arts the more my curiosity and interest grows in expanding other areas of performing. I want to become a great Shakespearean actress. I want to be comfortable with improv. I’m interested in acting for the camera.
16. In the same vein, I’m evolving into a person who doesn’t have to be a professional performer to feel cool. I just need work that is stimulating. Finger-spacing the hangers at Anthropologie doesn’t count. And making pennies freelance writing doesn’t count either.
17. I want to be in a relationship where I’m wanted. I don’t want to try to force a relationship where the guy likes me pretty much. But also I don’t want to get in a relationship with someone just because he thinks I’m awesome. I want mutual adoration. Somehow in my experience this has been semi-difficult to locate. Mutual adoration FTW.
18. Acting for children is really rewarding. In the world of professional theatre, children's theatre is the type of theatre that seems to be least preferable. But not for me! Exposing children to the arts and spurring their imaginations seems essential to excellent education. I remember the first professional theatre performance I saw--the national tour of Phantom of the Opera when I was in the 3rd grade. It was the beginning of something huge for me.
19. My success/failures in performing aren’t a good thermometer to take the temperature of my talent. Me being in the right place, at the right time, with the right look and the right talent is a good indication of my talent. Rejection shouldn’t tell you how talented you are. In the same way neither should success.